The use of psychological principles, including those derived from Milton Erickson, can be extremely helpful in everyday situations like communication and debate.
For example, a well-known book on winning arguments begins with the concept of building rapport with the audience. What it’s actually describing is an understanding of subculture—if we grasp what matters to someone, what they see as strengths and liabilities, we’re not just building rapport—we’re communicating in a way that truly connects with their reality.
My subculture and beliefs
Note that on a day to day basis, to get things done, I rely on the practice of awareness, letting the mind do what it wants while I consciously do what is helpful for my life – like in Acceptance and Commitment or just common sense as has been taught to us by awareness traditions from 5000 years back.
My subculture example can be found towards the end of this article.
Milton Erickson’s Insights
This concept has been clearly articulated by psychologist Milton Erickson, who showed how the connection, continuation and result of an interaction becomes effective when it aligns with the internal structures and values of the listener – their particular sub culture. Instead of convincing someone through logic alone, he emphasized understanding their world and guiding them from within that context.
Applying Psychology Instead of Isolating It
Like many powerful analogies that help us in life, applying psychology usefully—instead of keeping it in isolated theory—improves how we relate, decide, and act. Even something as ordinary as building a friendship or having a productive conversation involves skills like recognizing what the other person values and avoids, according to their subcultural context.
My Personal Approach to Decision-Making
Personally, I don’t believe in trying to convince anyone. I prefer having enough resources and options so that if someone isn’t ready or a door closes, another one can open. There is no forcing, no dependence on a single person or outcome. It keeps emotional pressure low and movement forward possible.
What Successful People Have in Common
Interestingly, I’ve found that many successful people across different fields share this mindset. They will fight till the end to get their best results in every situation—even the unlikely ones—but they also don’t cling to resistance or inaction. If someone isn’t ready, they move on and keep solving problems without unnecessary emotional weight. Won’t sit and cry.
Subculture examples
Here are some stereotypical examples, over generalized just for the sake of understanding.
1. Corporate Subculture – Speaking the Language of Efficiency and Value
Subculture example:
In a high-performing corporate setting, if people value time-efficiency, measurable outcomes, and professionalism, this forms a “corporate subculture” where reliability and clarity are considered assets, while ambiguity or emotions affecting performance may be seen as liabilities.
Milton Erickson’s approach maybe:
To tailor the language to reflect this subculture. Instead of saying, “This change will make you feel more comfortable,” he might say, “This approach will save your team 20% of time and improve clarity.” By embedding suggestions in the person’s value system, we increase receptiveness without confrontation.
2. Spiritual or Mindfulness Subculture – Language of Presence and Flow
Subculture example:
People deeply engaged in spiritual practice or mindfulness communities often value presence, acceptance, and inner growth. They may see control or rigid structure or over-materialism as liabilities and openness or surrender as assets.
Milton Erickson’s could be:
With such an audience, we might use metaphors and permissive language, like: “You may notice, without effort, that understanding starts to unfold on its own…” This aligns with the subculture’s intuitive communication style, encouraging transformation from within. Like said, I am just giving stereotypes for example sake. Find the underlying principle, modify for real life.
3. Academic or Intellectual Subculture
Subculture example:
In academic environments, people often pride themselves on analytical rigor, conceptual nuance, and skepticism. Oversimplification or emotional reasoning can be liabilities, while clarity, layered argumentation and referencing are assets.
My experience: Even if I’m explaining music and playing guitar, by nature, without effort, I tend to structure it as if it is industrial engineering. Even if I don’t explicitly tell that I have a technology or engineering background the audience automatically perceives this. This is an example where since my attributes of the subculture that I belong to are so strong even if I don’t try and even if I am talking about unrelated topic the assets and liabilities of the subculture shines through.
Subculture and your Income
In my experience this is of particular importance when somebody is trying to sell a service or product. Do not try to act someone that you’re not because without knowing your real subculture maybe apparent. Instead of subduing it use it to your advantage talk to people who are similar to you aim to get them as your customers because that is where the commonality will be understood and perceived at a subconscious level.